Fullness of Joy

"Jennita, I want to talk to you!"  It had been a long day. Things were
winding down and I was preparing to finish the last details of my
lesson planning for the next day. But, I knew that voice. My room
mates were peacefully working as they chatted quietly...it was so
inviting. But this conversation could not wait. I could not neglect
the highest privilege in the universe. At first I thought it might be
something urgent, but the message was so simple, directly from a
Father who knows me better than I know myself. Only He knew what had
been happening in my life. He knew exactly the experience I had just
been through, the things that at times almost caused me to question.
He knew how much I needed the reassurance that He was in control, that
He cared for me beyond any other.

It was wonderful, but soon my mind was wandering (so much like
Martha!)...back to my unfinished lesson plans, my final exams, my
weakened condition after a battle with dengue fever, the long week
ahead of me.  “Lord, how can I do it? I groaned.”  I was already
thinking how early I needed to be awake the next morning to get back
“on track.”  The response almost startled me: “Do you trust Me?” A
long silence followed.... “Yes, Lord; Help me.”  I knew it was the
only way.
“Think back over the last five months.  Can you think of a time I
have not been there for you.  Has there ever been a time when you
really needed help and I was not there for you?”
“No...”
“Do you remember the miracles...what I brought you through? Can you
trust what I have done for you in the past?”
“Yes...”
“Is there anything else I can do to make you happier?”
“Really, I have never been happier in my life.”
I drifted off to sleep.  I woke up much later than I expected the next morning.
“Lord, now what?”
“Do you still trust Me? I took care of everything for you, that you
could not do.”
“Everything?  OK....”

What followed was one of the most precious experiences with God.  The
time seemed utterly too short, but when I headed to school that
morning, I knew I was not alone.  Miracles happened throughout the
day, so that I was able to finish everything during my free class
period.  The students were great.  They enjoyed classes.  .....All
because HE was there.

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of
joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”  (Psalm
16:11)

I can truly say that God has made this experience a deepening and
growing reality in my life.  I feel such a complete fulfilment that I
could not ask for anything else.
There’s the questions I am asked so frequently:  But isn’t it hard?
Isn’t there loneliness and discouragement?  Aren’t there mosquitoes,
scorpions, bats, and, snakes?  What about those tropical diseases?
Don’t the children ever yell at you and say they hate you?  Don’t you
ever wish you were doing something else? Don’t you miss having
electricity?
Let me suggest a better question:  Don’t  I serve a God who is greater
than all these things?  A God who I can trust because my life depends
on Him?  My happiness does not come from the fact that the above
things never happen. (Every missionary has stories!!)  Happiness is
not determined by how I feel or how I am treated. This complete joy
comes from a higher reality.  I can live by faith, in spite of all
these things, and above them. Why couldn’t I be the happiest person in
the world?
“Those who in everything make God first and last and best, are the
happiest people in the world. {FE 83.3}



--
*"It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ."
                                                     ~*Esther Kerr Rusthoi

Rainy Season Reflections

I stood by a splashing dashing stream swollen by the recent storm. It's murky waters hurried by, carrying the tint of the banks which tried in vain to contain the flood.  It picked up rubbish in its mad rush, overturning rocks and sticks and clumps of grass. What can I learn from this? I mused.

It reminds me of the life absorbed in anxiety and fret, always rushing, but never achieving, always obtaining, but never satisfied. The worried, troubled mind rushes endlessly but never seems to arrive at its destination. On it goes, disturbing others, overturning the rocks that were meant to glisten in its bed, uprooting the grass that was to adorn its banks, eroding the soil, it is supposed to nourish. The troubled mind resists its 'banks', carving away the circumstances, the very means ordained by God to keep us in his will. How can I help and nurture others without destroying them, if i never be still and wait on the Lord? How can I reflect Christ when my rushing waters are murky with self? How can I represent my savior if my life only reflects the circumstances through which it passes?